REJECTION? NAW!

I have learned more about myself these past three years than I ever have in my life. I know people think I'm kinda nuts auditioning for The Biggest Loser so many times ( 8 ) just to be rejected. I've come close! but no cigar! But I don't feel rejected one bit! This is how I look at it and why I continue to try....

1- Going through the process, answering a bazillion questions about me has given me an opportunity to get to know myself. It has caused me to reflect on my life, giving me a chance to put myself in the forethought's of my mind. If you are a mom, you know how rare that can be!

2. I have met some amazing people and some who will be lifelong friends!

3. My cousin Sandy and I are closer than ever doing this thing together!

4. It has inspired me to try! To eat healthier and start moving! After every season i say, "I will not be fat enough for the next season!" Although I am, I have lost over 35# since I started auditioning!

5. I got to go to LA to the live taping of the season 11 finale and meet tons of Losers and Casting Directors and cool people! I had an hour long convo with Allison Sweeney's husband Dave who is a crack up and invited me to their house for a BBQ next time I'm in town! How fun is that! I think i made him laugh a little...go figure!

6. I don't do too many things for myself...the BL has been something that I've done for ME and it kinda feels good! I've enjoyed the auditions and the travel and the time spent on improving my looks...it actually has made me care about what I look like!

7. I have never let people take my picture and I am always the one behind the camera in home videos. Doing so many videos has made me realize that I need to be a part of the documentation of our family! So now I am not afraid to be on camera or have my pic taken. Bearing my rolls to the nation has me more comfortable with my self image!

I will continue to try to get on the show. You don't make it as far as I have to just give up! So as long as I am fat enough, there's still a chance! I hope this season I get the chance to go to LA and show them in person why they need me on the show!

I think having the Biggest Loser as a platform, I could make a difference in so many peoples lives! And winning the cash, I could start my dream business with Larry! And being a part of something so amazing would rock my world! And getting fit would be such a huge deal! Not only could i fulfill my dream of running marathons, but getting out there with my family, participating in my life would be amazing! And you know i would win the whole damn thing!

So, if I don't get on the show, please know this...I am not giving up on myself. I will continue to make changes and fight for my life back. I have never been sad or felt rejected by not getting on. I completely understand & trust the casting process and trust God that if I am supposed to be on the show, I will be.