intolerance????

I guess i am not very tolerant of people when they are going through stuff and cry out for help....all week I've been thinking about why it is that when someone complains or becomes depressed and cries out for help....i tend to turn the other way and get frustrated...or completely ignore the problem..or become so burdened by it i get depressed...even when it's someone who i love dearly.... I was talking to a friend yesterday who brought it up out of the blue and i think it was a word from God giving me insight to my looming emotional question. I have been through a lot in my life and have had to take life by the boot straps and buck up...I've dealt with an aunt of mine who was psycho and played head games who cause me to almost have a total breakdown...I've dealt with a cousin who was constantly saying he was going to kill himself but never did, only did crazy attempts for attention ...and so many other things throughout my life that have cause me to not (as i feel) "play into peoples crap" I feel like saying, "buck up or get help! there's nothing i can do for you! I dealt with it by getting help, why don't you?" But I really don't feel that way toward the person acting out...just toward the behavior!
I lack in empathy, sympathy and compassion i guess....in most situations I think i am sympathetic, but in certain ones, i cant deal with it and come off being uncaring and unfeeling... I am up for any comments on what you think...please be forthright....i love constructive criticism. I don't want the people i love to feel like i don't care about what they are going through! I do!